On Tue, Aug 08, 2023 at 06:38:04PM +0200, Jean-Pierre Giraud wrote: > I send new draft with all the suggestions applied [...] Last reviews ? Let me add a few more suggestions. I recognize some could be applied before the DPB was published on the website, but I was a bit late to the party. Thanks for considering my comments! > Debian 30 anos > > [...] > > >From August 14 to 18, between 7pm and 22pm (UTC-3) contributors will > talk online in Portuguese and we will live stream on Debian Brasil > YouTube channel [9]. s/>From /From / > MiniDebConf Brasília 2023 > > >From May 25 to 27, Brasília hosted the MiniDebConf Brasília 2023 [22]. s/>From /From / > Bookworm's first point release 12.1 [35] addresses miscellaneous bug IMHO s/release 12.1 [35] /release, 12.1 [35], / > fixes affecting 88 packages, documentation, and installer updates was > made available on July 22, 2023 [36]. Again IMHO s/installer updates was made/installer updates, was made/ > Example of the sources.list file > > [...] > deb http://deb.debian.org/debian bookworm-updates main > deb-src http://deb.debian.org/debian bookworm-updates main The above was fixed, but the below is still indented the old way: > Example using the components: > > deb http://deb.debian.org/debian bookworm main non-free-firmware > deb-src http://deb.debian.org/debian bookworm main non-free-firmware > [...] > * trafficserver [46] - Several vulnerabilities were discovered [...] > * asterisk [47] - A flaw was found in Asterisk, an Open Source [...] > [and the next points] I would start the comments with lowercase letters. > Popular packages > > [...] > * sensible-utils - Utilities for sensible alternative [...] > * popularity-contest - The popularity-contest package [...] I would start the comments with lowercase letters. > * Toolkit for scalable simulation of distributed applications [54] > Open Lighting Architecture - RDM Responder Tests SimGrid is a [...] > * LDraw mklist program [55] 3D CAD programs [...] > * Open Lighting Architecture - RDM Responder Tests [56] The DMX512 > [...] > * parsec-service [57] Parsec is an abstraction layer that can [...] > * Simple network calculator and lookup tool [58] Process and [...] > * High performance, open source CPU/GPU miner and RandomX > benchmark [59] XMRig is a high performance, [...] > * Ping, but with a graph - Rust source code [60] This package [...] I think dashes between the synopsis and the (possibly started with lowercase letters, where it makes sense) long description would aid readability. > Once upon a time in Debian: > --------------------------- Stray colon. > Your Publicity team is asking for help from you our readers, developers, IMHO s/from you our readers/from you, our readers/ (or a colon, or even a dash)
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