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Re: zomg: discussion of package description



Martin Eberhard Schauer wrote:
> today I found a package description which I consider improvable. I would
> like to suggest the maintainer a rewritten and hopefully improved version.
> But I am not experienced in writing english texts.
> 
> Original:

(I'll add extra >indents for clarity)

>> console-based libre.fm submission and radio client

It did take me a moment to realise that this was claiming to be a
"submission client" - and that "submission" means that it submits
data, as opposed to being (in some bizarre sense) submissive!

>> ZOMG is a console-based libre.fm client written in Z-Shell.
>> It can submit the music tracks you play to libre.fm via the
>> Audioscrobbler protocol, and it can play libre.fm radio stations.
>> .
>> It can also submit tracks to last.fm or any compatible GNU FM site.
> 
> First attempt:
> 
> text-mode libre.fm client with submission capability to internet radios
> 
> ZOMG can play libre.fm radio stations and submit the music tracks
> you play to libre.fm, last.fm or any compatible GNU FM site.

> Rationale:
> 
> SD: I consider xxx-based a bad habit. Not having investigated deeper, I
> suppose the purpose of a internet radio client is listening and upload
> an additional feature

It's not a real "useless use of based" as in phrases like "GTK-based
UI" or "AJAX-based framework".  But since presumably you can run zomg
from an xterm it's not really appropriate to mention the console
anyway; "text-mode" is an improvement.

I'm not sure it needs to specify *Internet* radio in the synopsis;
after all, even if I don't know what libre.fm is, it's clearly a
domain name.  On the other hand it would be nice if we had a more
generic term for last.fm/libre.fm/etc.

> LD: The original's first sentence partly repeats the headline. Therefore
> this part is redundant. The average, prospective user wants to know what
> the program can do for him and not how it is implemented.

And the package also contains a couple of binaries.  But on the one
hand, the fact it's implemented in Z Shell is
 a) distinctly odd - there's no debtags category for zsh;
 b) the only trace of a clue to why it should be called "ZOMG".
I've ended up leaving it in.

> Seperate paragraphs for sentences with related  information (submission
> to different internet radios) don't make sense.

Yes, strange ordering: "it can submit feedback to X, and listen to X.
It can also submit feedback to Y and Z".  It looks as if it has been
through some cumulative edits already...

Unfortunately the way you've merged them makes it sound as if it can
listen to one set of stations and submit feedback to another.  Oh,
you've lost the thing about Audioscrobbler, too.... and now I look it
up it occurs to me that Audioscrobbler might even fit in the synopsis.
 
> Not adressed yet:
> Another translator wondered how to translate track. For me it is plausible,
> that track is short for the sound file plus metadata.

When it says that it submits tracks, it doesn't mean that it uploads
newly-composed music direct to libre.fm's playlist, what it means is
that it submits the *list of* tracks (and maybe other metadata besides
their names).

So:
  text-mode libre.fm and Audioscrobbler client
or maybe:
  text-mode Internet radio playing and scrobbling client

  ZOMG is an Internet radio client written in Z Shell. It can stream
  music from libre.fm, last.fm, or any compatible GNU FM site, and use
  the Audioscrobbler protocol to submit feedback on the tracks played.

-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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